If you work with groups in any way – for example, if you train people to raise money, facilitate retreats, engage with nonprofit boards, etc. – this post is for you.

After thirty years of consulting, facilitating, and training – and more than a decade of teaching others how to do these things – I’ve developed a library of insights, jokes, zingers, and unexpected ideas. Today’s post includes some of my favorites.

Like any storyteller, public speaker, or standup comic, I’ve workshopped this material dozens of times, testing different phrasing, inflections, and timing. (None of which you’ll experience by reading this.) You’ll need to do the same.

Feel free to adapt these words and make them your own. If you have your own favorites to share, please use the comments section below.

Training, facilitation, consulting

When setting up the room: I train for free. I get paid to move furniture.

On training design: When you’re leading a group, people remember 20% of what you say but 90% of what they do. So give them stuff to do!

The consultant should never work harder than the client. The teacher should never work harder than the students. The facilitator should never work harder than the group. (With thanks to Sharon Behar.)

The value of flip charts: The metaphor of PowerPoint: I, the trainer, have wisdom to share with you. Conversely, the metaphor of the flip chart: You, the participants, have wisdom to share that I will collect, record, and amplify. Therefore, flip charts can empower the group in a different way.

Avoiding imposter syndrome: An expert is anyone who knows five percent more than the other person.

The psychology of fundraising

Everyone believes that their cause has the hardest time raising money. Environmentalists are envious of arts groups, who are envious of social service organizations, who are envious of medical charities, who are envious of environmentalists. And everyone is jealous of the people who raise money for puppies and kittens.

Try this with a group: Raise your hand if you’ve ever made a charitable gift and felt good about it. (All the hands go up.) OK, here’s the million-dollar question: Why are we so uncomfortable asking people to do something that feels good when they do it? (Pause.) Short answer: We focus on how we feel as the asker. It might feel awkward. We might be rejected. However, if you want to be good at fundraising, here’s the first thing you need to learn: it’s not about you, it’s about the donor. How you feel is not the point. Asking is about the donor … and most of the time, the donor feels good.

Or try this: With the understanding that you probably don’t have enough money and you probably don’t have enough time, which is more precious to you: your time – raise your hand – or your money? For most of you, it’s time. Which leads to this interesting problem: We are shameless about asking for time – volunteer, volunteer, volunteer! – but we’re really hesitant to ask for money. We have this exactly backwards: We should be much more careful asking for time and WAY more assertive asking for money.

Fundraising is a volume business. If you ask enough people, eventually you raise all the money you need to raise. (With thanks to Kim Klein.)

The word you hear most often in fundraising is “no.” That’s how it works. In fact, if you’re not getting many “no’s”, you’re not asking enough people. This is one of the most underappreciated metrics in fundraising: How many people say no.

A story: I asked the group, “Why are you here? What do you want to learn?” A woman spoke up and said, “I’m trying to get over myself.” In other words, she was trying to get her ego out of the way so she could be of service to her organization. That’s the sweet spot.

The practice of fundraising

When people are new to fundraising, they ask the wrong question: “Who’s rich?” instead of “Who do we know?” They end up with a list of rich strangers that nobody knows. This isn’t a prospect list – it’s a fantasy list.

Statistics raise eyebrows but emotions raise money.

On donor meetings: The more the donor talks, the better it gets. The more you talk, the worse it gets.

Fundraising boils down to two jobs: The asker and the decider. The asker asks for the gift. The decider says, “Yes, I choose to give” or “No thanks, I choose not to give.” Do not confuse these two jobs! Do not decide for others by NOT asking them. When you decide for others – “He doesn’t have any money, she has other priorities,” etc. – you are literally disempowering them.

Do you want job security? Do you want more power? Learn how to raise money. You will always have a job, because there’s always a shortage of fundraisers. Furthermore, people who raise money tend to have more power.

Strategic planning

Nonprofits are really good at admiring the problem, which is not the same as solving the problem. (With thanks to Lori Bellingham.)

If you have a plan and circumstances change, then you’re working with a revised plan. Otherwise, you’re working with revised instinct. (With thanks to Terry Miller.)

Want more? You’ll enjoy this: Trainer Funny: How to Add Humor to Your Next Workshop.