Once upon a time – this is a true story – there was a fearless fundraiser. Let’s call her Maria.

Maria worked as the development director for a well-loved, mid-sized nonprofit serving a rural community. In addition to managing a variety of fundraising tasks – annual appeals, events, online fundraising, etc. – she was also the primary major gifts fundraiser.

Therefore, she spent a lot of time cultivating potential donors and encouraging their support.

How high can we go?

In preparation for a big fundraising campaign, Maria sat down with her spouse to have “the conversation.” She said, “I’m going to ask some of our most generous donors to increase their support. This will work better if you and I first contribute as much as we possibly can.”

After discussion and debate, they pledged $2500 to the campaign.

She was employed by a nonprofit. Her spouse was a seasonal construction worker. This was a REALLY BIG gift for them.

“I don’t know what the equivalent would be for you, but…”

Flash forward a few weeks. Maria is sitting with a donor couple in their lakefront home, discussing her organization, answering their questions, and describing how increasing their support would increase their impact.

When it comes time to ask, she says the following.

“My spouse and I are giving $2500 to this campaign, which is a big stretch for us. I don’t know what the equivalent would be for you, given your circumstances, but that’s what I’m asking for.”

Like any effective fundraiser, she shuts up, looks them in the eye, and waits.

The couple glances at one other. After a brief pause, one of them says, “Well, if you’re in for $2500, we’re in for $100,000.”

Maria breaks into tears. (Just so we’re clear: tears of joy!) The couple brings her a box of tissues. Once she pulls herself together – Maria is pretty funny, so feel free to insert some laughter – they discuss the logistics of how to make the gift.

And then she’s off to her next donor meeting.

Do that again, please

A year goes by. Because she’s intentional about maintaining relationships, Maria has stayed in touch through email, invited them to events, and so forth. She’s always looking for opportunities to check in and see how they’re doing.

Now it’s time for those end-of-the-year donor visits.

She picks up the phone. “Can I come see you again? It would be great to get your input, see if you have any questions, and – if you’re interested – I would love to ask for your support.”

A pause on the other end of the line. “Are we going to make you cry again this year?”

Without missing a beat, Maria says, “I sure hope so!” Everybody laughs – and they schedule the meeting.

Peer-to-peer fundraising: It’s not what you think

For a long time, the standard for major gifts fundraising was peer-to-peer fundraising. Under this model, one donor – particularly a wealthy donor – is recruited to solicit another.

There are so many problems with this approach, but the inherent hierarchy, classism, and member-of-the-club-ism top the list.

Here’s what I love about Maria’s story: it turns the definition of peer completely upside down. Despite their deep differences in social class, Maria and her donors are peers because they’re:

• Starting from a place of mutual respect
• Deeply committed to the mission of the organization
• Willing to make a stretch gift in support of that mission
• Willing to share some vulnerability in an awkward moment

It’s a subtly subversive approach to fundraising … and it works.

Three things you can learn from this story

1. Before asking anyone else, give yourself. Give your time, your money, your heart. Give as much as you can reasonably give.

2. Share your own story. It’s OK to talk about why you care and how you participate. By doing so, you inspire others to care and participate.

3. Don’t be afraid. Fearless fundraisers raise more money.

Because we’re in the middle of fundraising season (actually, every season is fundraising season) it’s time to get out there and ask.

Do you need help learning how to schedule donor appointments? Are you ready to practice and improve your fundraising conversations? If so, I invite you to check out this book.

Warning: it includes role plays…