Note: This guest post from Karen Strong is the first in a series about facilitating difficult conversations on challenging topics. Her guidance applies to difficult conversations on all sorts of subjects – not just the climate crisis. Thanks, Karen!

When was the last time you talked about climate change for more than a minute or two? 

If you can’t remember, you’re not alone. Most people acknowledge the reality of climate change, yet we aren’t discussing it.

It might surprise you to learn that talking about this topic leads to behavior change, and therefore has a real impact on the climate.

Because so few people are talking about climate change, most people underestimate American support for climate policies by 50%. Others have found that hearing friends and family talk about this topic shifts that perception and encourages them to discuss it even more. 

To address the climate crisis, we need to work together. That means engaging in authentic dialogue rather than making speeches and talking past one another. 

Impossible to ignore, hard to discuss

Are you avoiding climate change conversations? If so, why?

Maybe you worry that you don’t know enough to talk intelligently about the subject. Perhaps you’re uncomfortable with conflict and don’t want to risk a politically charged argument. 

For many people, in the face of so much bad environmental news, it’s emotionally draining to think about – let alone talk about – this existential threat. 

Given the scale of the problem, perhaps you believe that one person’s actions won’t make a difference …  so why bother?

A new approach

If you follow conventional wisdom, you might start the conversation by explaining climate science: why the atmosphere is warming, the human role in creating climate pollution, etc. Unfortunately, that’s an ineffective strategy. 

Instead, consider what we’ve learned from behavioral science: the idea that values, emotions, and what our friends think are far more important for forming opinions about issues like climate change. 

How can you navigate these conversations more skillfully? Here are three tips.

1. Be more curious.

We often enter conversations about controversial issues like climate change with an us-vs.-them mentality. 

However, don’t assume that you know how others feel about most topics, including the climate. Instead, choose curiosity. You can learn what people are thinking (and how they’re feeling) by asking open-ended questions. Their responses may surprise you. 

Try asking, “Can you tell me more about that?”

2. Listen to understand, not respond.

The not-so-secret to all good communication is listening. 

When was the last time you truly listened to another person, rather than waiting for your turn to talk? Instead of thinking, “What do I need to say next?” try this: “What did they just say and how can I show them they’re being heard?” This approach to other-focused listening can open new ways of thinking and relating.

Challenge yourself to not interrupt or ask too many questions, which sometimes originate from your own preconceived agenda.
As you respond, try to include the last word or phrase they just said.

3. Connect, don’t convince.

The us-vs.-them mentality sets us up for a conflict we want to win. Instead, this new approach focuses on staying connected, so people are open to further conversations. Not every contact needs to address the climate … and that’s OK.

In the process, you’re building trust so people might be open to another conversation with you or someone else. Assume that this is a marathon, not a sprint – so pace yourself and your conversations.

Try slowing down. Breathe. Slow your speaking pace. Be present with the other person. Let go of the goal of convincing others. Allow yourself the time to connect.

Want to try a new way?

If you want to put this approach into practice, Climate Conversations is a cross-disciplinary program I designed with two colleagues, Bobbi Block and Lisa Yeager. We call ourselves the Yes and Nature Collaborative.

The program is designed for people who have a volunteer or professional role that includes talking about climate change. In other words, those who know the basic facts but struggle to deliver their message. 

Join us to make the shift to connecting rather than convincing. Want to learn more? Visit the Climate Conversations website or email yesandnature@strongoutcomes.com. Our next program begins on March 8 – hope to see you there.